Let’s talk about resistance.
You know the feeling.
You have a goal. A real one. Something you genuinely want.
You start off motivated. Inspired. All guns blazing.
And then…
You procrastinate.
You suddenly need to reorganise a drawer that has survived just fine for ten years.
Netflix looks very persuasive.
You feel flat. Unmotivated. Like the spark has gone.
Most people assume this means they are lazy, undisciplined, or not cut out for success.
They are wrong.
What you are actually experiencing is resistance.
Because if there were zero resistance between you and that goal, you would do whatever it took to get there. Even the uncomfortable stuff. Even the boring stuff. Even the stuff you would rather not do.
Think about people who hate public speaking but still get on stage.
They might feel nervous. Their stomach might flip. Their palms might sweat.
But they do it anyway.
Why?
Because their desire to get where they want to go is stronger than the resistance they feel.
That is the key difference.
Resistance does not mean you do not want the outcome.
It means something inside you believes there is a cost attached to achieving it.
And that belief often has nothing to do with logic.
Where resistance really comes from
In my work, I see this pattern constantly.
People are not stuck because they lack motivation.
They are stuck because part of them is quietly trying to protect them.
For example:
I once realised I had resistance around becoming successful in business because I believed that success would steal my freedom of time. Somewhere in my subconscious, success equalled being chained to my laptop.
I have worked with someone who had resistance to achieving her goals because she believed she would get bored once she arrived there. Success felt flat and meaningless to her at a subconscious level.
Just recently, we spoke with someone who had resistance to stepping into entrepreneurship because she would lose the benefits and security her job provided.
Another big one I saw in me was resistance to being fully booked in business.
On the surface, that sounds ridiculous. Who does not want that?
But underneath it sat a belief that being fully booked meant working full time, marketing constantly, and having no off switch. Compared to a job where you get paid every week without selling yourself, business suddenly felt like the harder option.
None of these beliefs are right or wrong.
But they are powerful.
And until they are brought into awareness, resistance will quietly sabotage progress every single time.
Why willpower rarely works
This is where people get stuck.
They try to push through resistance with discipline.
They force themselves.
They beat themselves up.
Sometimes that works short term.
Most of the time, it does not.
Why?
Because resistance is not a character flaw. It is a signal.
It is pointing to a belief, fear, or perceived downside that your conscious mind has not yet questioned.
When you ignore that signal and just push harder, your nervous system pushes back. Motivation drops. Energy drains. Procrastination ramps up.
Not because you are failing.
But because your system is saying, “Hang on. Something about this does not feel safe or desirable.”
How to actually move through resistance
The first step is awareness.
Instead of asking, “Why can’t I just do this?”
Ask, “What do I believe will happen if I succeed?”
That question alone is gold.
Then go deeper.
- What do I think I might lose?
- What feels uncomfortable about getting what I want?
- Who would I have to become if this worked?
- What responsibility would come with success?
You might be surprised by what comes up.
The second step is questioning the belief.
Is it true that success always equals loss of freedom?
Is it inevitable that you would get bored?
Is it really safer to stay where you are, or does it just feel familiar?
Most resistance is built on outdated assumptions that have never been consciously challenged.
The third step is alignment, not force.
Once the belief is seen and softened, action feels lighter.
Not effortless, but cleaner.
You still might do things you do not love doing.
But you are no longer dragging yourself forward while something inside digs its heels in.
That is the difference between pushing and flowing.
Resistance is not your enemy
Resistance is not there to stop you.
It is there to show you what needs attention.
When motivation disappears, it is not a sign to quit.
It is a sign to listen.
The people who create lasting success are not the ones who never feel resistance.
They are the ones who recognise it early, get curious about it, and clear what is underneath.
Because once resistance dissolves, action becomes simple.
Not because the path is easy.
But because nothing inside you is fighting it anymore.
And that changes everything.
Next steps
As we head into the new year, Laurie and I have been drawn into creating something brand new, something fun, and something that is so profound that I can hardly contain myself!
We are creating a new training program…
A complete identity, emotional, behavioural and energetic method for lasting change.
So keep an eye out as we plan to launch this program in the new year!
I am sooooo excited!