Why do I want to reach out to my ex after we broke up?

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Today we’re diving into a question that many of us have pondered: why do I want to reach out to my ex after we’ve broken up?

This is something I’ve personally wrestled with, especially when I was the one who initiated the breakup. You know the drill: something happens, and suddenly you’re tempted to message them. You have to force yourself not to do it. This is a common experience, and there’s a metaphysical or energetic reason behind it.

The energetic reason why you’re tempted to reach out

When you were with your ex, you engaged in a form of energetic exchange. If the relationship ended badly, this exchange was likely what we call discordant energy—neither of you, or at least one of you, wasn’t acting in alignment with who you truly are. Staying in the relationship wasn’t serving you, hence the breakup.

However, post-breakup, you might feel something is missing. Maybe a funny incident happens, and your first instinct is to share it with your ex. This has happened to me too. I remember being with a guy for a couple of years in a not-so-great “relationship”. After ending it, I still felt the urge to reach out, to share a joke or a meme. Why? Because that energetic exchange we had was gone, creating a deficit, an empty space that needed filling.

What do do if you feel that temptation

So, what can you do if you find yourself in this situation? Here are some tips:

1. Find Other Interactions: Engage with new people. This doesn’t have to be romantic. Join a hiking group, take a class, or participate in activities that interest you. This helps shift your focus away from that gap left by your ex.
2. Focus on Yourself: Concentrate on your own growth and well-being. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people who can help rebuild your energy.

Remember, if you’re truly done with your ex, reaching out is not fair to either of you. It maintains that negative energy exchange, which is detrimental to your healing and growth.

So, next time you feel the urge to reach out, pause and remind yourself of the energetic balance you’re trying to achieve. Focus on creating new, positive exchanges and let the past rest.

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