Why you need to take responsibility for your problems

Today I am going to discuss why you need to take responsibility for your problems. I am sure I’ll upset a few people here, but this really needs to be said. Taking responsibility is the first step to creating positive and lasting change.

Why do you have “problems” in the first place?

When you take a look at your life in this moment, everything in it, every person in it, every situation in it, is a reflection of your current vibrational frequency.

Anything new that comes into your life will stay only if it’s in alignment with that vibrational frequency. This explains why lottery winners don’t stay rich for very long – all too soon the money is gone, and then some!

If you are dealing with specific problems at the moment and they’re not going away, then there is something in your vibrational frequency that’s keeping them there. And more often than not, it’s the fact that you’re not yet ready to take responsibility for that problem.

Taking responsibility for your problems is NOT blaming

Before I go any further, I want to clarify that taking responsibility for something is completely different to blaming yourself for it! So please don’t think I am pointing the finger at you, telling you that you’re to blame for all of your problems, ok?

However, you are responsible for those problems!

My story

When I was 19 years old, I met a man (really just a child in a man’s body, if I’m honest with myself!). We moved in together, we got married, we bought a house or two, and we had a child together.

Very early in this relationship, the emotional and verbal abuse started. To say I was completely taken off guard when this started is an understatement. I still remember the first time it happened.

This first time was like the opening of a floodgate. The abuse became a common theme, and the cycle began. He would be abusive, I could get upset and cry, he’d apologise and promise not to treat me that way again, he’d get “frisky” and want sex, I would turn him down because I was still hurting from his words a couple of hours earlier, then he would get mad because I turned him down.

This continued for almost NINE YEARS.

Eventually, I felt nothing for this man. I wanted to end my life as well, but by then I had a beautiful baby girl that I couldn’t bear leaving in his care, so I guess she was my incentive to not take my life.

Eventually, at around the nine year mark, while looking at my daughter, I realised that I had to get out of this abusive marriage or I’d be teaching my daughter that her father’s treatment of me was ok. I would never forgive myself if I’d chosen to stay and she found herself married to someone just like him!

So I left! For her. And then I went back. For him.

My return only lasted 3 months. I was completely numb, and although he seemed to be trying, I was miserable. I no longer loved this man. In fact, I felt NOTHING for this man.

So on one sunny winter day I told him I was leaving for good. This triggered more abuse from him. He hadn’t changed at all – he was just putting on a front so I’d stick around!

On 1 July 2000, the biggest weight I’d ever felt on my shoulders, was completely lifted. I knew I had done the right thing. And this time it was for ME!

What happened next is we were talking about custody (I knew I would win if it went to court given he’d already admitted to a marriage counselor that he had been verbally abusing me), is that I offered to allow him to take the house in return for me having main custody of our daughter. Thankfully he agreed.

The downside of the house decision was that I walked away from that marriage with a whole lot of debt and no money. But I was FREE!

Why you need to take responsibility for your problems

My story shows several examples of where I have made choices that did not serve me.

The biggest example is the one where I tolerated my ex’s bad behaviour – for NINE years!

There were no guns pointed at my head during this time – I chose to stay with this man, despite his horrible treatment of me. I am the only one responsible for making the choice to:

1. Go into a relationship with him
2. Stay in a relationship with him
3. Move in with him
4. Marry him
5. Have a child with him
6. Buy houses with him
7. Let him have the house when I left

Nobody made me do those things. They were all my choice, and therefore all my responsibility.

Now, I could go and blame him for being such a horrible person, but what good would that do? It’s not like this blame would cause him to automatically have a personality transplant and become a nice person, right? There is absolutely no point in blaming him for any of it! There’s also no point in blaming myself for my terrible choices either!

I did need to take responsibility for my choices though, because until I was prepared to do that, I would end up making the same mistakes with the next dude who came along!

What taking responsibility for your problems looks like

Taking responsibility for your problems looks like this…

• You acknowledge that the situation could not have happened unless you were in vibrational alignment with it.
• You stop looking outside of yourself for somebody to blame.
• You acknowledge that you’ve made some choices that do not serve you, and you commit to not making those choices again. Those old choices put you into vibrational alignment with that person or situation, remember?
• You understand that your choices got you to where you are now, and can take you to where you want to go – if you choose to make new choices!
• You understand that pointing the finger at somebody else gives them all of your power. While you are pointing the finger at them, you are unable to take control of your life and move forward in a direction that feels good to you.
• You know that taking responsibility gives you complete power to shape your future so that it matches your greatest desires!

How to move forward once you have taken responsibility

Taking responsibility for your problems can feel a bit foreign at first, especially when you have spent your life looking outside of yourself to understand why your life is the way it is.

Taking responsibility for your problems is one of the most powerful and positive things you can do for yourself!

Like I said, taking responsibility for your problems is not the same as blaming yourself. It’s purely about taking back your power so that you’re empowered to create positive and lasting change.

If you continue to blame others, your situation, your job, or whatever, for your problems, you’re handing your power over to those things. You’re literally waiting for those things to change before you can have what you want!

You’ll be waiting a while…!

To move forward from this point, you need to do the following:

1. Review your past choices, and determine which choices brought you to where you are.
2. If you have a copy of your Soul and Manifesting Blueprints, check if those past choices were in alignment with you at soul level. If you don’t have access to these blueprints, either book the relevant Soulful Manifesting package, or see if you can work out which of those choices did not serve you in some way.
3. If you are clear on what you do want, create an action plan. This will be a lot easier if you have access to your Blueprints, because you won’t need to rely on trial and error so much, but it can still be done regardless.
4. Start taking aligned new actions that serve you. This is the only way to create an experience that not only feels good, but is in alignment with who you are as well.
5. And finally, enjoy the process. Watch for feedback (it often comes quickly – usually within 24 hours!), and course-correct as needed.

Want to know more?