What I learned about forgiveness

I love listening to podcasts while I’m out in the car or taking a walk, and yesterday I was listening to a podcast hosted by Susanne Giesseman where she was interviewing Scarlett Lewis.

Scarlett’s life was turned upside down when her 6 year old son Jesse was tragically shot and killed during the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy in December 2012. Jesse was an extremely brave little boy, saving 9 of his classmates before being shot himself.

Even thinking about forgiveness toward the shooter in such circumstances may seem impossible to most, but Scarlett has chosen just that. And here’s why…

What does Scarlett say about forgiveness?

Scarlett says, “Forgiveness is about taking your personal power back. Sometimes it’s the only way not to remain a victim for the rest of your life.

Forgiveness gives you control over the situation.

What happens when we feel like we don’t have control? It makes us feel anxious, frustrated, and angry.

There are so many benefits to forgiveness. Would it make sense for me to allow the young man who murdered Jesse to have control over my thoughts that impact my feelings and my behaviour?

I take my personal power back, through forgiveness…”

It’s time to cut the cord

During the podcast, Sandy also talked about what happens when we hold onto anger toward another person.

She says that holding onto these emotions toward another creates a cord (or a connection) between the two of you. And you remain “connected” through this cord, sending energy down that line constantly. It keeps you tied to that person.

So by letting go of that anger, hate or rage, you’re literally cutting that cord and setting yourself free from that person.

The benefits of forgiveness

There are sooo many benefits for letting go of your anger, resentment or hate, and Scarlett is living proof of that! Here’s what she says are the benefits:

• You get to take your personal power back
• Improved relationships
• Stronger immune system
• Reduced anxiety, stress and hostility
• Improves heart health and lowers blood pressure
• Higher self esteem
• Physical psychological wellbeing
• Reduced risk of depression and anger
• Extends our life span

“When we blame another for a situation, we are off-putting our pain and giving away our personal power. Forgiveness cuts the cord that connects us to the pain, so when we do this, we take back our personal power…”

Scarlett’s mission

Scarlett’s story is an extremely tragic one, but she has turned her story into one of inspiration and hope for so many kids and families.

She has set up a foundation called the Choose Love Movement, and I’m just now working through the free courses on offer. Her mission is to teach our kids how to manage their emotions so that they begin to make better choices in life. She knows that if the boy that killed her son and others had been taught this information from when he was a young child, this horrible tragedy may never have happened.

So rather than pointing the finger at who should be blamed for what happened, she decided to look at the cause. Why did this boy act out? Why did he make it ok in his brain to go through with this horrific act?

The tools and videos she provides (for free!) are educational and bring about different ways of thinking in adults and children alike, so I absolutely recommend you take a look into what she’s doing. I am personally blown away by her strength and positive attitude, and I plan to use these tools with my own kids!

Watch Scarlett’s video here. And if you’d like to know more about how you can help your own family, your local school or your community, visit https://chooselovemovement.org/