Ever looked back at your relationship history and wondered whether you’ve been dating the same person in different bodies?
Different face. Different job. Different annoying habits.
Same arguments. Same disappointments. Same emotional rollercoaster.
At some point, you’ve got to wonder whether Cupid needs his eyesight checked.
But what if the common thread isn’t necessarily the people you’re attracting?
What if there’s a pattern you’ve been carrying into your relationships without even realising it?
Your Subconscious Has a Type. And It’s Not Always Helpful.
We all develop beliefs about love, relationships and our own worthiness.
Some come from childhood, while others develop through previous relationships, family dynamics and experiences we’ve long since forgotten.
And some patterns seem to run so deep that we can’t quite explain where they came from.
These beliefs can influence who we feel attracted to, what we tolerate, how we communicate and what happens when things get uncomfortable.
For example, you might:
- Keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners.
- Give far more than you receive.
- Struggle to trust someone, even when they’ve given you no reason not to.
- Feel responsible for everyone else’s happiness.
- Pull away when someone gets too close.
- Stay in relationships long after you know they’re not working.
Of course, not every relationship problem comes from your subconscious. Sometimes the other person really is behaving badly.
You don’t need to turn someone else’s poor behaviour into a personal development project.
However, when you notice the same emotional reactions or relationship dynamics appearing repeatedly, it’s worth getting curious.
Love Isn’t Always the Problem. Sometimes It’s the Pattern.
Here’s something interesting.
You can consciously want a loving, supportive relationship while holding subconscious beliefs that make receiving that love uncomfortable.
Perhaps you believe love must be earned.
Maybe you’ve learnt that keeping the peace matters more than expressing your needs.
Or perhaps independence feels safer than allowing someone to get close.
These beliefs can influence your expectations, emotional reactions and choices.
And those choices can contribute to familiar results.
It’s a bit like ordering something completely different from the menu, only to discover the kitchen has served you your usual meal.
Again.
With parsley on top, apparently hoping you won’t notice.
What Happens When You Change the Pattern?
The exciting part is that recognising a pattern gives you an opportunity to respond differently.
You might start expressing your needs instead of hoping someone reads your mind.
You could recognise when you’re taking responsibility for emotions that aren’t yours to manage.
Or perhaps you begin questioning an old belief that says you must work incredibly hard to deserve love.
You don’t necessarily need to change your partner, find a new one or swear off relationships and move into a cottage with seventeen cats.
Although, admittedly, the cats have their appeal.
Sometimes the most meaningful change begins with understanding what’s happening within you.
And that’s where things get interesting.
Something New Is Coming. And This Time, It’s About Love.
We’ve explored how subconscious patterns can influence money, abundance and the choices we make.
But relationships?
Oh, there’s plenty to investigate there.
I’m working on something new that explores the patterns we carry into love and relationships, including the ones we might not consciously recognise.
There’ll be a new Love & Relationship Pattern Quiz to help you discover some of the beliefs and behaviours that may be influencing your experiences.
And that’s just the beginning.
We’ll also be exploring ways to investigate those patterns more deeply and create opportunities for change.
Whether you’re single, happily partnered, somewhere in between or currently wondering why your relationship history resembles a television series that should have been cancelled three seasons ago, there’s something worth discovering.
Watch this space. Love is about to get a little more interesting.
And no, you won’t need to download another dating app.