How to let go of feelings of resentment and revenge

Yesterday I was talking to a young man who was holding onto a lot of resentment toward people who had caused a lot of pain for him over the years.

He felt as though he should not want revenge, but he was struggling to let these feelings go.

This is a tough one and it’s also quite a common one. We all have some element of wanting justice for wrongs being done to us, but what we don’t always understand is that the longer we hold onto these feelings of resentment or revenge, the more likely that these will manifest into physical or mental ailments.

We are literally harming ourselves when we hang onto these feelings.

So how does one turn this around?

Letting go of feelings of resentment or revenge is no easy task! I have many clients who have tried to let stuff go, but they struggle to do so, and this manifests in many forms.

I know a man who recently lost a kidney to cancer. He is holding onto a LOT of anger from his past, and this is how it’s manifested. This is just one example of how serious things can get if we don’t deal with and heal from our past hurts.

Why do some people in our lives cause us so much pain?

It wasn’t years after I walked out on an emotionally abusive marriage that I understood why he treated me that way, and why I had found myself in that situation in the first place. And it wasn’t until decades later that I understood the details of the karmic contract I had in place with my ex husband.

When I met him I was in a really negative space. My life wasn’t going as planned and I really felt lost. Then he came along and “rescued” me from the limbo I was struggling with at the time.

He was also in a bad place emotionally, and I guess my low vibration drew him right in! It’s just that we expressed ourselves in very different ways – he would verbally hurt me and I would avoid confrontation like my life depended on it! It really wasn’t a match made in heaven, but I stuck with him for 9 years before I worked out that my life and that of our daughter, would continue to suck unless I did something different, and I left. I actually left twice.

The first time I left for our daughter. I didn’t want her growing up thinking his treatment of me was ok. He convinced me to go back, but after a few months I realised I no longer had any feelings for him – I was numb – and this time I left for me.

After I left him the second time, I could see that he was extremely insecure and down on himself, and the only way he was able to create any “security” for himself was to verbally beat me down so that my self esteem would stay in the gutter. That way I’d never leave.

He wasn’t doing any of this consciously – this was just how it was playing out.

What I also learned is that by staying with him, my actions were telling him that I was ok with his treatement of me, regardless of my words. He was suffering no consequences for treating me so badly.

This all happened over 20 years ago, so when I had a Life Between Lives session with a local Soul Regression Practitioner, I learned that he and I had a contract back then and that it had been completed!

In my regression I could see his soul, and we literally high-fived each other, because I had finally learned the lesson to love myself enough to leave him – for me – not for our daughter’s sake. Yay!

You see, he and I had agreed at a soul level that in this lifetime he would come in as my future husband and help me to learn the lesson about self love. He would treat me in a way that would help me to get this lesson. If he’d been loving and caring from the start, I doubt I ever would have gotten that lesson, so thank you to my ex!

What if I didn’t learn my lesson? Have I failed?

So if you’ve been through something like this and you’re still feeling crappy and you hate their guts, all is not lost.

Now might be a time to experience a soul regression so that you can come to an understanding of why things are happening with this person in this way.

This understanding is not about condoning bad behaviour though – it’s about knowing why this has happened and looking for the lesson so that you can move past it and let it go.

You don’t even have to see that person again in order to come to this place, because where you are now is 100% about you. What they did has nothing to do with now – it’s the past, and it really needs to stay there. So what you can do now is learn from that past, and turn it into a positive experience for yourself.

Maybe, like in my case where men are concerned, you will choose somebody who’s nothing like the last, and while you may have more lessons to learn, you’re better placed to ease through them more smoothly than the last one.